Candle Glow and Mistletoe: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book 5 Read online

  She walked into town nicely and slowly like a lady and went into the Oregon City Land Office. She smiled. This was a man she had never met before.

  * * *

  Swift Eagle came back in to find Big Red sitting in a chair staring at a necklace. Was it the one he’d given Rhetta? He walked to Rhetta’s room and realized she must have left again.

  No, that was wrong. She deserved the safety of her home. “Big Red, I’m leaving. If she doesn’t want me here—”

  “That’s not the problem. I said some things to her; hurtful things I wish I could take back.” He heaved a sigh. “She’s gone for good this time.”

  The force of the wind rattled the door as the storm that had started earlier picked up. Was she out in it? Why hadn’t she just gone to Tara’s or one of the other houses?

  “She loves you,” he said. “There is nothing you could say to make her leave.”

  “Well, Swift Eagle, you’d be wrong about that. You didn’t see her face.” Big Red sat back in his chair. “I implied she was given to me and I didn’t particularly want her, me not having a wife and all, and I said I didn’t raise her right and that now I didn’t know what to do with her. I really made a mess of things. I love that girl.”

  “I know you do. Deep down, she knows too. We can pray and ask the Creator to let her know you love her.”

  “That’s a good idea. I can’t go anywhere in this storm. I will pray for her safety too.”

  Swift Eagle nodded. “I believe we will spend much of our time praying for Rhetta.”

  * * *

  Opening her eyes, she stared ahead of her, confused. There was a cross, a huge cross right in front of her. Sitting up, she looked around. The church had changed little in almost nine years. It was so quiet except for the sound of the wind. The cross reminded her of Swift Eagle saying that Jesus and he would be good friends if he lived now. She smiled. She had no doubt.

  It had been an awful week, and yesterday had been too much. Between Pa and the Land Office, she felt right bad about herself. Orville, at the office drew up the deed, took her money and laughed at her and then told her she could have the deed if she did him a few favors. She was too stupid to know what he meant until he’d ripped her dress. As she ran to the front door, he told her to go and work at the brothel; that was where she belonged.

  The storm had hit, and the only open door had been the church door. She was able to change and tend to her bruises. Her face hurt, but she’d been beaten before. She’d heal. Everything she had once thought to be true was a lie, and she didn’t know where to start to move on. If it hadn’t been storming, she’d go to the mountains. There were bound to be empty shacks up there. Many other people who had decided to be alone did so because they were misfits too.

  Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.

  She wrapped her blanket around herself and picked up a Bible that was lying on the pew nearby. Maybe she could find some solace. Finding the verse, she was looking for she read.

  The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

  The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:17-18

  She read it over and over again. The pain was still there, but she knew without a doubt God was with her and she would be fine. She still didn’t want to go home. There had to be something else she could do.

  If she went home and acted as though everything was fine, she’d be lying. There had been so much affection between her and Big Red, hadn’t there? Was she the one who had initiated it because she craved to be loved so much? He took her everywhere because he had no other option. She’d been his burden to bear for over nine long years, and she’d been too stupid to realize how he felt.

  And what was Swift Eagle still doing in Oregon? She’d thought for a little bit that it was because of her, but it must be the snow that had him trapped with her.

  Was she wrong about everything? She wasn’t kind and caring or helpful. If she were, people would have actually liked her and not just pretended they did. Well, maybe Tara had never pretended, but how could Rhetta be sure? There was no way she could trust her feelings or judgement again. Doing that had led her to disaster.

  She wrapped the buffalo robe around her and went back out into the storm.

  Chapter Nine

  Fighting the constant frigid wind was depleting her energy. She needed to make it back before dark, or this time she would freeze. Last night had been awful, burrowing into the snow and making enough room so she could slip herself inside was something she planned never to do again.

  She could still mostly feel her feet, but her fingers and toes had lost feeling hours ago. She had no choice but to eat the snow and that was the worst thing she could be doing. She was frozen from the inside out. She had tied her pack to a rope around her waist. She just couldn’t carry it on her back any further. Pulling it was better but not easier since it got stuck many times.

  At times, the wind was so bad it stole her breath, taking it away on great gusts. Now she knew why so many died during the winter. She had thought she’d find shelter, real shelter where she could make a fire and warm the snow to drink. She had packed snow into the canteen and then carried it under the buffalo robe but it made her too cold. Lucky for her she had brought dried venison, and that kept her going.

  There! Smoke swirled through the air. She was getting close to home. Just a little farther. But she stumbled. Her body didn’t want to cooperate. What if she rested and fell asleep? What if she sat down but couldn’t get back up? Even conjuring up images of a fire in the fireplace and her warm bed didn’t help. One more step, one more step, you’re almost there. One more step, one more step, you’re almost there.

  She fell and the weight of the pack pulled her down several feet. She lay there. Perhaps it was her time to die. It would be so easy to just close her eyes and let the Lord take her. How was she supposed to get back up? She was the strongest person she knew. Would she be remembered for her failure to make it home?

  Swift Eagle, I need you.

  Gulping in air made her lungs ache. She’d crawl, she could crawl. It should have been easy except she sank in the snow. She was out of ideas. The sky was so blue as she lay on her back. The wind was dying down a bit.

  Lord, I beseech you to bring my soul to heaven.

  * * *

  Tara held Big Red for a long while rocking him back and forth. Tears ran down both their faces.

  “My heart, this is all my fault,” Big Red stated.

  “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. Sometimes you two would bump heads. Two stubborn people, but it’s not your fault. She knew there was a storm coming. Rhetta hadn’t been herself since around Christmas.”

  “How could she have thought she’d get through the storm?” Big Red moaned.

  “If you wake her before I get all her fingers and toes thawed out, she’ll be screaming in pain, my friend,” Swift Eagle cautioned.

  Tara jumped right up. “What do you need me to do, Swift Eagle? Two people can go twice as fast.”

  “Her feet aren’t as bad. Bathe them in cold water. Do not use warm water until I say so or she’ll scream like nothing you’ve ever heard before.”

  Tara worked on one foot while Big Red worked on the other. “She might survive with all her toes. I’ve seen worse.”

  “I was thinking the same thing about her fingers,” Swift Eagle said.

  Dawn ran in. “Oh, goodness! What can I do?”

  “Put more wood on the fire and tell the next man who comes in to bring in more,” Big Red directed her.

  Heath ended up with the chore of bringing the wood in.

  Cora was next to hurry inside. “Be careful. It can be very painful.”

  Harrison was right behind her. “I remember when we had to do that to you on the way to Oregon, Cora. Shall I start the willow bark tea?”

  “She’s
going to need laudanum,” Big Red said.

  “Luella has some. I’ll run over.” Harrison was out the door before anyone said another word.

  Swift Eagle looked around. Rhetta might not think it, but she was well loved.

  Luella came back with Harrison. “I have to ask this before we give it to her, and I don’t want a gasp or growl from anyone. Got it?”

  They all nodded.

  “Is there any chance she is with child?”

  His face heated as they all turned his way. “There is no chance, not with me, that is.”

  “Swift Eagle, what does that mean exactly?” Luella asked.

  “She’d been beaten and beside the ones on her face she has bruises she shouldn’t on at least one part of her. I didn’t look at her whole body. I thought a woman should do it after we deal with the frostbite.”

  “Cora could you take over for me?” Big Red asked.

  She nodded but gave him a wary look.

  He took her pack and dumped it out. He didn’t see anything odd except she had a dress with her. He picked it up and gasped. The whole front had been torn. Sitting down, he then ran his hand over his face.

  Luella rested her palm on Big Red’s shoulder. “I’ll look her over after we deal with her hands and feet.” She walked to Harrison. “Get Amy. She’s at my house, but Declan can watch the kids.”

  Harrison didn’t say a word; he just quietly left.

  “I’ll get the willow bark tea ready,” Luella said.

  “I’ll help.” Dawn followed her into the kitchen.

  “You’re not going to give her the laudanum?” Heath asked.

  “A child is a sacred gift from God,” Swift Eagle told him calmly and quietly. “We’ll know soon.”

  “And if she is?”

  “Then the child will be mine. I don’t think we need to talk about this.”

  Big Red nodded. “It’ll be Rhetta that decides. Thank you for standing up for her, Swift Eagle. Heath, I do understand your concern.”

  Swift Eagle continued to massage her hand. He hadn’t seen any blood, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t violated. His heart hurt for her. He wanted her for his wife, but she might not want to be touched once she woke up. He’d have to be prepared. She probably wanted nothing to do with him. But she felt their connection as well. Why didn’t she understand they were meant to be?

  It was his fault. He’d left her, so why would she think he believed it to be special? She wouldn’t have left if she’d felt loved. He was the one who had caused all this misery; he hadn’t accepted her gift of a kiss. He had walked away. His reasons were sound; he was too old for her.

  He would have thought with a white woman his main concern would be she was white but Rhetta didn’t seem to care. Did she love him despite the color of his skin or because of the color? Maybe she figured she’d never have to go to town again since he was not exactly welcomed.

  No, she didn’t go to town now. She had a fine roof over her head and food to eat. She had a big family. She could have turned her attentions to Cowboy Kevin, but she hadn’t. He’d just have to wait and see how she felt about him when she woke up. Should he give her space as Luella suggested? Love wasn’t supposed to be this hard, was it?

  * * *

  She had never felt so much pain, at least not in a very long time. How could her agony be both fiery and icy at the same time? Biting her lip didn’t help; it only drew blood. “OOOOuch! What happened to me?”

  Her bed was next to the fireplace once more. “Was I shot again?” Her fingers and toes burned and burned. Her heart started racing. Was she being tortured?

  “It’ll be just fine, Rhetta,” Big Red soothed. He sat in a chair he must have pushed next to the bed. “You were out in the storm. I’m so glad you woke up. I was worried.” Tears filled his eyes. He started to move to touch her hand but drew away. “You have frostbite, but we’re confident you’ll keep all your fingers and toes.”

  She stared at him. “How long have I been out?”

  “Five hours at the most. The women were just getting ready to examine you.”

  Horror filled her. “What? Why? What else is wrong with me?”

  “There are bruises in strange places,” he gently said.

  She closed her eyes. “I don’t think there would be much to see besides the bruises. I just wish I had done some permanent damage to that—that Orville! He won’t walk right for a long while but he deserved much worse.” She opened her eyes and turned her head. How many people were in the house? Had her virtue been the subject of conversation?

  “Is nothing private? You all still think of me as a little girl. Didn’t any of you think how’d I feel when I woke up knowing you were speculating whether or not I was violated? It would have been even worse if I was examined.” She couldn’t catch her breath, feeling like she was being smothered.

  Swift Eagle made everyone move back including Big Red. He sat on the bed and the jostling was agonizing. He put his arm under her shoulders and lifted her to drink. “Coffee, it’ll help you breathe, and then I’ll give you laudanum for the pain. You’re lucky to be alive.”

  She stared into his eyes as she swallowed the coffee. He looked worried. “Am I really going to be fine?”

  “Yes.”

  She nodded slightly and opened her mouth for the water mixed with laudanum. She could breathe at least. When she was finished, she tried to reach out to him but the pain made her moan. “Don’t leave me.”

  “I will be here, don’t worry.”

  She sighed.

  * * *

  Big Red put his head in his hands. “I could have handled things better.”

  “She’s right,” Tara said as she put her hand on his shoulder. “We do treat her as a girl. I’d have been madder than she was if I woke and found everyone here wondering if I had been violated. She’s a woman and we need to remember that.”

  “I’m just glad we know,” Heath commented. “Dawn, we should go home so you can put your feet up.”

  She blushed. “Sounds good to me. Much better than being on the Oregon Trail carrying.”

  “I think we should all go so Big Red, Amy, and Swift Eagle can get some rest. We all know how hard it can be nursing someone back to health. I’m glad to know she wasn’t… you know, but I guess we’ll never have to mention it again.” Tara kissed Big Red on the cheek.

  Soon everyone was gone. Amy stood. “I’ll make some food and clean up around here.”

  “That’s not why you’re here.” Big Red gave her a loving smile. “You’re here to keep me calm.”

  “Luckily, I can do that and make supper.” She returned his smile.

  Swift Eagle turned away and concentrated on Rhetta. His spitfire had fought off her attacker. Good for her. He was filled with thankfulness that she wasn’t raped. God was with her. Reaching out he stoked her hair, noting how the candlelight picked up the lighter colored highlights in her brown hair.

  Now to think of a plan to get her to marry him. Would she want to live close to her family or elsewhere on the ranch? Once she made up with Big Red, she wouldn’t leave him. He already knew that about her. They could hunt together, and she could learn about the horses if she wanted. She wasn’t one that could be lassoed and tied down. She’d chafe under any rules. He loved her free spirit. He only hoped to never cause her pain again.

  All he had to do was convince her. His confidence plummeted. It would be hard, and she might decide she was better off without him. Time would only tell.

  Amy brought him a bowl of soup. She was a cheerful woman, and she made Big Red happy. Swift Eagle ate trying not to listen to the murmurs from his companions.

  “I want to give you two some privacy, and the only way I can see it being done is if you bring those chairs into Big Red’s room.”

  They both stared at him as though he was crazy.

  “Leave the door open a crack, I don’t care. You are both adults. I think you can be trusted.”

  “Big Red, he’s right. We sit
in front of the fire at my house all the time. I know I can be trusted,” she teased.

  Big Red stood and took her hand. “Call if there is any change. I can be trusted too.” He actually smiled as he reached for Amy’s hand. He led her to his room and came back for the chairs.

  Rhetta looked so peaceful sleeping. If he could take her pain away, he would. How could he convince her of his love? He didn’t know any tricks to win a woman’s love. He only knew how to be himself. Perhaps Luella or the other women knew what he should do. No, he couldn’t tell anyone about Rhetta’s business. She wanted… she deserved her privacy. All he could do was pray.

  Her lashes fluttered, and she opened her eyes. She smiled at him until the pain hit. “I can’t believe I did this to myself. How stupid can I be?” She sounded so disappointed in herself.

  “I don’t think you would have chanced the storm if that man hadn’t attacked you.”

  “I was foolish and I believed what he said. I’m not supposed to own land, but I figured I pay him a bribe and he’d do it. He had all the papers ready, signed and sealed, but he put them on his desk and came around to the front. He wanted a few favors, he said, and I didn’t know what he meant. If I had known he’d have knife cuts all over his body. He took me by surprise but I grabbed the deed before I left, along with the bill of sale.”

  She took a deep breath. “I own the land where Hannah had been held. Now I have to decide how to make money with it. There is already a house, though it is run down. But I can always improve it. There’s a big pond on it too. My main problem… Could I have some willow bark tea? I can smell it.”